"We move through the world like
shooting stars across the sky.
Splitting through the darkness
Putting the light into their eyes."
A soft cool breeze
gently blew across Sahar’s face. Spring was in the air! Nowruz, the Persian New
Year, was just nine days away and the celebration was about to begin. However
today, Sahar had far more important things on her mind. Today was Tuesday,
March 12, 2019 and Sahar was about to attend her first soccer match in Tehran!
Her favorite soccer team, Esteghlal was playing United Arab Emirates and she
couldn’t wait to stand up with thousands of other young fans and loudly scream
and cheer them on to victory.
Sahar stopped a few
hundred feet from the entrance to Azadi Stadium and watched a huge crowd of
people hurrying inside anxious to get to their seats. She took a nervous deep
breath and then adjusted the blue wig covering the top of her head. Removing a
mirror from the pocket of her gray overcoat, she carefully examined her
face. Did she really look like a man? Had she removed all traces of make-up on her
face? Would she get through security?
Quickly
shoving the mirror back into the pocket of her overcoat, Sahar took another
deep breath. Beads of sweat coming from the wig trickled down her face. She
nervously wiped the sweat away and continued walking, trying to blend in with
the crowd in front of her. She had never done anything like this before. She
had heard the stories of many women, desperate to see a soccer watch, and
dressing up like a man to sneak inside.
Sahar gazed up at the sign
hanging above the entrance that read, Azadi Stadium. She chuckled out
loud to herself,
“Azadi Stadium? What
kind of name for a stadium is that? Azadi in Persian means freedom, but that’s
a lie! There is no freedom for women in this stadium. They are forbidden!”
Ever
since the Revolution in 1979, when Iran was transformed from a secular state,
into an Islamic Republic, men and women became segregated classes of people.
Women could no longer hold government jobs and were forced to be veiled when
going out publicly. Men became the dominant class and women were reduced to
second class citizens. Even though it was not officially written into code,
women could no longer attend stadium events alongside of men because of the
discriminatory teachings of Sharia Law. The government now ruled their lives
from cradle to grave and human rights and freedom no longer existed!
Yet that didn’t stop
Sahar. She was not afraid of what the government could do to her. Today she
was proudly wearing blue, the official team color and she was determined to be
the loudest cheering fan in the whole stadium! Attending a soccer game in
Tehran was the absolute dream of her life and nothing could stop her today.
A smile beamed out across
her face as she neared the entrance. In her mind’s eye, she visualized herself
standing way atop the stadium gazing down at the playing field, surrounded by
thousands of fans, all of them men, cheering loudly into the air as Esteghlal
scored their first goal of the game. Chills and goosebumps broke out all over Sahar’s
body as she saw herself having the greatest time of her life.
Pulling her cell phone out
of her pocket to show the security guard her ticket, Sahar once again took a
deep breath and relaxed arriving at the entrance. She presented her cell phone
to the ticket patron when suddenly two security officers surrounded her. One of
them reached on top of her head with his hand and pulled off her blue wig.
Sahar dropped her cell phone in shock. Her heart began racing in her chest
“You are not a man!”
the guard screamed back at Sahar. “You are an impostor. You are under
arrest!”
In an instant, Sahar’s
world had been shattered. Her dream of attending her first ever soccer game was
no longer a “child-like” reality, but had now been transformed into a horrible
nightmare!
*************
Monday, September 2, had
finally arrived. Sahar had dreaded this day for months but realized she had to
keep her court date or face more jail time. After finding out she had been
arrested, Sahar’s parents were extremely angry and reluctantly paid the
expensive bail for her freedom. They were loyalists to the government and
warned her to fully comply with the law or risk staying in jail forever. They
refused to bail her out for a second time.
Sahar entered the court
building and walked up to the front desk. A lady dressed in a full chador that
covered her body and hair greeted her, asking what her reason for coming was.
When Sahar explained that she had been summoned to court, the lady politely
informed her that the judge had postponed the case for family reasons and she
was scheduled to return another day. The woman looked closely at her paperwork
and then looked intently into her eyes.
“You realize mam, that
your case is very serious. You are charged with going out publicly without a
hijab and impersonating a man to attend a soccer game. If you are convicted you
will have to spend six months in jail and maybe even two years!”
The
thought of being imprisoned for six months and caged like an animal was
horrifying to Sahar. The woman’s warning cut through her soul like the blade of
a sharp knife. Sahar grabbed her chest in fear as anxiety pains shot through
her. She had heard the horror stories of women being raped and sexually
assaulted by prison guards. She was well aware of the deplorable prison
conditions where there was no medical assistance and no access to a lawyer for
many months. Sahar understood how women were treated like animals and sexual
objects, and the thought of even spending one day in prison for the crime of
being a woman in Iran was absolutely repulsive and unacceptable to her.
Racing out the front door
in fear, Sahar knew exactly what she had to do. There was no turning back.
Living as a woman in Iran was no longer an option for her. Today would be her
last day of living under fear and oppression. Her friends had urged her to just
hang in there a little longer. Freedom and democracy would soon come to Iran.
The daily protests in the streets and all over the cities were having a
drastic effect on the government, her friends claimed. The government
cannot last much longer under the pressure of sanctions and the violence in the
streets.
However,
Sahar had lost all hope. Today had been the last crushing blow of despair that
she could endure. She raced around the corner and arrived at a gas station.
Purchasing a small plastic container, she filled it full to the top with
gasoline. The owner gave her a concerned look and decided instead not to interfere
into her personal business.
Sahar rounded the corner
onto a busy side street filled with people walking to their early morning jobs.
The loud noise of honking horns in the traffic-filled streets and the screaming
voices of angry motorists didn’t bother her like before. She had become deaf to
the chaotic sounds of Tehran. The world had suddenly become dead to her. She
had no feelings anymore. She was now totally numb and indifferent to life
itself.
Stopping in the middle of
the sidewalk, Sahar took an angry deep breath. Tears streamed down her face.
Her hand trembled at she unscrewed the cap off of the plastic container of
gasoline. She closed her eyes and at once she saw herself inside of Azadi
Stadium surrounded by thousands of happy, jubilant fans cheering on
Esteghlal. For a brief moment, Sahar managed to smile. Right now, at this
moment, she was living the dream of a lifetime visualizing the thrill of
attending her first soccer game. Yet the thrill was short lived. It was
all just a cruel nightmare that had died six months ago. There was nothing left
to live for now. All hope had died on the day that she was arrested. Sahar knew
being a woman in Iran was a hopeless and cruel existence and she didn’t want to
be a part of it anymore. Despair had sucked every last bit of life from out of
her soul.
Sahar raised the plastic
container over her head and began saturating her body with gasoline. A few men
on the street stopped and gazed with concern at her. As she lit the match, a
young woman raced toward her realizing what she was about to do.
“Stop! Stop! Please……”
But
before the young woman could finish her sentence, Sahar touched her clothes
with the match and was immediately engulfed in flames. Sahar had never in
her life felt anything like this before! The scorching hot burning pain
paralyzed her entire body. She could barely utter a word. The pain and
suffering was indescribable and yet she didn’t regret what she had done for a
second. A young man raced toward her, but Sahar immediately warned him in a
shrieking voice.
“Leave me alone. I want
to die! Leave me alone!”
Sahar
was rushed to a hospital in Tehran. Her whole body was covered with third
degree burns. Seven days later on September 10, 2019, “Blue girl” died
from her severe injuries.
*******************
The tragic news of Sahar’s
death was heard all over the soccer world. There was outrage and sadness. Her
favorite team, Esteghlal held a moment of silence before their training
session, in memory and tribute to “Blue Girl,” affectionately called, because
she dressed herself in the team colors. The Iranian soccer team issued a public
statement that was recorded on video:
“The tragic death of
our beloved child, Ms. Sahar Khodayari, has caused much sadness and regret for
Esteghlal. We offer our condolences to you and your relatives.”
Thousands
of sad supporters gathered on the very spot where Sahar committed
self-immolation and held a candlelight vigil in prayer. There were hundreds of
flowers laid at the sight and one hand written note declared, “You won’t be
forgotten Blue Girl.”
The
FIFA (International governing body for football) outraged at Sahar’s senseless
death publicly called on Iranian authorities to “ensure the freedom and
safety of any women engaged in the legitimate fight to end the stadium ban for
women in Iran.”
Amnesty International
loudly spoke out against the unjust tragic death of Sahar condemning the
oppressive rules against women in Iran.
“Her only crime was
being a woman in a country where women face discrimination that is entrenched
in laws and plays out in the most horrific ways imaginable in every area of
their lives, even in sports!”
'
Thousands
of Iranians took to Twitter tweeting their outrage with the hashtag #BlueGirl.
One such outrage tweet came from Magdalena Erickson, a soccer player for
Chelsea’s women’s team in Londo
“Today our hearts bleed
blue for Sahar Khodayari. Now it’s time for everyone in Iran to be allowed to
attend every football match together! RIP Blue Girl.”
World
renowned human rights activist, Emadi Baghi, also took to Twitter in support of
Sahar declaring:
“Tehran’s Azadi Stadium
should be renamed, “Sahar-e-Azadi.”
For forty years, we’ve
called that stadium Azadi. Azadi means freedom, but there is nothing in common
between the stadium and the real meaning of that word!”
On
October 10, 2019, caving into the international outrage and pressure from the
FIFA, the government of Iran allowed women to purchase 3,500 tickets and attend
the world cup final against Cambodia. It was the first time in 40 years that
women were allowed inside. However, this was nothing more than a publicity
stunt, damage control for the rebuilding of a public image, giving the watching
world the impression that Iran was finally respecting women, when in reality
there was nothing in writing to lift the ban. It was all about image and yet
for a few hours, it appeared that some measure of justice was finally given to
the memory of Sahar.
Rival Sons is a
very popular American rock band that wrote a powerful song entitled, “Shooting
stars.” The chorus of this song has a haunting and incredible melody, that
although not intended to be a tribute to Sahar, yet is describes something very
ominous of her courage and personality.
“We move through the
world like shooting stars across the sky. Splitting through the darkness.
Putting the light into their eyes.”
In just a few verses, I
can see the face of Sahar and everything that she stood for. She lived a very
brief life and died at the young age of 29. She was like a shooting star. Here
for just a few moments in time, but those few moments forever changed the
world. With courage and conviction, she set herself on fire and became a
blazing torch for freedom. She bravely stood up to the darkness of oppression
and because of that, the world paused from their chaotic life and for a few
brief moments listened to her message. Sahar was crying out in desperation,
engulfed in the agonizing flames, putting the light into their eyes. In
the final moments of her life, Blue Girl screamed loudly in her
suffering and set the world on fire. She shouted freedom from a busy street in
the middle of Tehran to tell the world that there is something terribly wrong
and cruel going on in Iran.
We must never forget this courageous woman who
refused to keep silent about the gender apartheid in Iran. It was not just
about a soccer game. It was about life itself! Blue Girl was a shooting
star and in an agonizing instant of flames engulfing her body, the blazing
light of truth shined out from her whole being in protest against the cruel and
unjust discrimination of Iranian women.
