Mehnoush Bakhtiari suffered under the oppression of an abusive father growing up in Iran. This is her story of survival and how one day her life was dramatically changed when she met Christ. This story will be featured in our new book, "Dear God: Please bring freedom to Iran."
My
life in Iran (1986-2017 )
My
name is Mehnoush Bakhtiari. I am a 32 year-old Iranian girl that was born into
a Muslim family with a dictator father and a culturally suppressed mother. My
father belonged to the Lor Tribe and according to their ancestral traditions,
the “male child” received all of the family honor in preference to females. My
mother was forced into a cultural marriage to my father unaware that he was a
practicing polygamist, already married to another woman, and had two sons. She
was too busy being a school teacher and a slave to housekeeping that she didn’t
realize anything about my father’s past when she married him. On the day of my brother’s birth, my father
happily celebrated with a huge party because Allah had blessed him with a male
child. My
mother was already 6 months pregnant and my father couldn’t wait to have
another celebration!
On
February 12, 1986, the year that Iran was still engaged in a bloody war with
Iraq, I was born in a hospital in Tehran. My father was devastated! It seemed
like the end of the world to him. Enraged over the birth of a girl instead of a
male child, he left my mother suffering in bed after undergoing a painful
caesarean section. Returning home from the hospital still in pain, life for my
mother became more difficult and stressful. My father’s mood became uglier each
day. It was torture for him to accept the birth of a female.
By
the time I turned five years old, instead of wearing make-up or playing with
dolls, my father insisted that I shave my head, wear boyish clothes, and play
football with my brother. This was the only way that he could cope with me
being a female. When my father was at work, my mother came to my aid and had me
change my clothes from jeans to skirts, and she even purchased dolls for me to
play with. She insisted that I should not hide my femininity. As time when on,
my hair began to grow back and one of the most precious memories of my
childhood that I remembered best was when my mother would tenderly comb my
blond hair and adorn it with colorful clips.
However,
the happier moments with my mother did not last very long. My father’s behavior
toward me grew uglier. He complained to my mother that I was too busy with
schoolwork and should instead be taught cooking skills and learning household
chores that were fitting for a woman! By the time I turned 18, he wanted me to
marry one of my relatives in order to get rid of me as soon as possible. He
intended for me to become just like my mother by studying the Quran, be an
efficient housekeeper and learn child nursing skills. I despised this kind of
lifestyle and fought it every step of the way! I longed to go to university,
study hard, travel, and meet other people, and learn about their cultures.
Deep
down inside of me I longed for a spirituality that fulfilled the passions of my
heart, a spirituality that made me feel wanted and loved by a personal God. I
hated the times I was forced to hold the Quran in my hands and listen to
Islamic teachings from my father. When I would look into my mother’s eyes, I
saw an emptiness, as she recited from the Quran. She had no peace and was only
going through the motions to please my father.
When
my father revealed that he had married a third wife, my mother had finally
reached the breaking point. She refused to sit by and just tolerate the other
women and be a faithful spouse. Standing up to my father, she demanded a
divorce. It was the first time that I remember her mustering up the courage to
confront him. I knew she had reached the end of her so called, “patient
submissiveness!”
However,
my father adamantly refused to grant her the divorce and concocted a plan with
his emotional manipulative tactics, persuading us to take a trip to the
northern section of Iran to relax and carefully sort out our differences. It
was here in the beautiful countryside that I witnessed the absolute evil and
dark side of my father. I vividly remember, even though this was many years
ago, that my Father took my brother and I by the hand to walk on the beach of
the Caspian Sea. Little did I realize that he was planning to drown us in front
of my mother! It was all part of his devilish scheme to force my mother into
dropping her plans to divorce him by threatening to drown us before her eyes. However,
my mother proved herself that day to be a tough and courageous survivor. She
screamed so loudly, creating a scene, that people began to rush toward us on
the beach frantically wanting to know what was wrong. My father’s plans had been thwarted!
After
a long and hard legal battle, my mother succeeded in divorcing my father. In
Iran, it is very difficult for a woman to obtain a divorce and in most every
case she loses custody of her children. However, in this case, she miraculously
won out! Even though we were successful in separating ourselves from my abusive
father, the financial burden became too enormous for my mother to shoulder. My
brother, influenced by my persuasive father, decided to leave us and live with
him. Iran is very patriarchal, man-centered society, and now the financial
responsibility fell upon my shoulders. I became the “head” of the house and
with the help of one of my mother’s colleagues at the university, I took a job
in the tourism industry. Since I was a child, I always loved learning about new
cultures and languages so this was the perfect job for me! My father had never
let us travel alone, so being a tour guide was the answer to one of my lifelong
dreams. It was at this time that my father continued to punish us for divorcing
him. He convinced my brother not to allow us to attend his wedding and this
crushed my mother. Day and night, she wept and moaned and all I could do was
hold her in my arms and console her.
After
a few months of working for the tourism industry, my manager asked me to travel
to United Arab Emirates and handle a contract. I was thrilled and immediately
persuaded my mother to accompany me on the trip. Once we arrived, we could
immediately sense the freedom and loveliness of this wonderful country. I
remember the joy of allowing the wind to blow through my hair since the United
Arab Emirates did not have a mandatory hijab law. I noticed that the cloud of
depression had lifted off of my mother and I was overjoyed to see her relax and
smile for the first time in many months. It was such a wonderful experience
seeing people enjoy life, walking, jogging, and cycling in the outdoors, free
from the shackles and chains of a patriarchal society. Both my mother and I
wished that this feeling of joy and exuberance could have lasted forever, but 2
weeks later reality set in when we had to return to Iran.
I
continued to travel and meet people from different cultures and I vividly
remember on one particular trip that I was introduced to some very nice
Christian people. I was very impressed
by their kindness and respect and became good friends with one young Christian
girl. Together we visited a Christian Church in Armenia and as we walked
inside, I was overcome with such a peace and a sense of the divine. I had been struggling under the darkness of
depression and I will never forget the experience of walking into that church
and being overwhelmed by such a feeling of tranquility in my soul.
After
the trip, I began to research Christianity and study the Bible. I was so
impressed by the way Jesus treated women and showed love and compassion to the
hurting and the lost. I was gripped by his love and how this innocent man, who
claimed to be the Son of God, willingly died on the cross to forgive the sins
of all mankind. Through my research I discovered how very much different
Christianity was from Islam. The God of Christianity was filled with love and
compassion unlike the God of Islam. Human beings were treated with great value,
respect, and compassion. Christianity
taught love and forgiveness, while Islam taught violence and revenge. My
trip to Armenia had planted the seeds of a new way of life in my soul that was
to change me forever!
While
back in Iran, I became close friends with The Jabbari family. Their daughter,
Reyhaneh was on death row in prison for defending herself against a government
rapist. I spent many days, praying, hugging, and crying with Shole, Reyhaneh’s
mother. The misogynistic society of Iran had no respect for women. Their only
value to men was birthing babies and keeping the house. I will never forget the
morning of October 25, 2014, when we heard the news that Reyhaneh had been
unjustly executed by hanging. That morning changed my life forever. I was
outraged by the tactics of this murderous regime who treated humanity like
cattle! I could no longer be silent! I had to speak out and began writing
articles on Facebook about the sins and evil cruelty committed by the
government. I needed to shout to the
world, that my homeland, once the glorious Persian empire of beauty and history, had been captured and corrupted by the oppressive religion of Islam.
I
soon realized that my life was now in danger. I knew the regime would be
looking for me and unless I quickly left, I would suffer the same fate of many
others who had been imprisoned and executed for speaking out against the
government. In August of 2017, I said a tearful goodbye to my mother and asked
her blessing on me as I fled my homeland for a more safe and peaceful life. I
applied for a visa to take an English language course at a university in
Sweden. I explained I was going there to study, but once I arrived, I made
plans to never go back to Iran. A new chapter in my life had now begun. I was
now a refugee in a foreign land, an asylum seeker, never to return to my
homeland.
I had successfully escaped from
that misogynist, religious, oppressive, and dictatorship regime and for the
first time in my life, I had a bright future ahead of me. I had ridded myself
of the dark and difficult days of living in an oppressive culture. I was ready
to begin a brand-new life!
In
the first few months, I managed to successfully pass a short-term English course
in an international university and graduated. It was during this time, that one
of my friends took me to a church in the city of Stockholm. After several
visits of getting to know the members of the church, I talked with the pastor
and explained to him about my research into the Christian religion. On November
5, 2017, I was baptized in a special ceremony. The water was very chilly, but I
will never forget how cleansed I felt after being submerged. I was immediately
overwhelmed with a feeling of peace. The darkness of Islam that had filled my
soul with torment and oppression had finally been cleansed in the wonderful waters
of baptism. I felt born again! I felt
like a completely new person. This time my faith had not been formed by my
father or a government’s threats, but instead it was the result of my heartfelt
and emotional commitment to Christ! Now I could express my ideas and opinions
without fear and publish them as essays and books!
Now I could
open up the Bible and dig deep discovering the riches and treasures of God’s
grace. I was still a new student of the scriptures eager to read and discover
their meanings and live by their principles. In the Old Testament, I came
across a very powerful promise of God that really spoke to my heart. It was as
if God was speaking directly to my heart and assuring me of his love for my
homeland and all Iranians.
“And I will deal severely with
all who have oppressed you.
I will save the weak
and helpless ones;
I will bring together those who were chased
away.
I will give glory and fame
to my former exiles,
Wherever they have been
mocked and shamed.
On that day I will gather you
together and bring you home again.
I will give you a good name,
a name of distinction,
Among all the nations of the earth.
I will restore
your fortunes before their very eyes.
I, the Lord, have spoken!”
(Zephaniah 3:19-20 NLT)
My
goal is to write and publish books about injustices and cruelty done by the
Iranian government against my people. Shortly after I became a Christian, I
became friends with Randy Noble. I was so impressed by his love and commitment to
the Iranian people. He is my Angel! He has given me the privilege of writing
articles for his radio program. God brought a wonderful American friend into my
life to fulfill my dream of writing books and being a voice for my people. The
book you are holding in your hands is the result of many nights of praying and
crying out to God. I believe now that God
will answer my prayers and the prayers of many others and one day bring true
freedom and democracy to Iran!
